So my schedule has been all over the place lately, including a trip up to New England where I stayed with some family friends who had no wireless and used dial-up (see: computer equivalent of the stone age). I also missed the past two mailbags. I chose not to write the first one because the submissions were that bad, but the most recent was just because I’ve been in the middle of internet-less New Hampshire. SO, because I feel like I owe VacayNation something special, here is the most epic post of my Vacay career: El Gingero’s VacayAwards.
Vacay’s #1 Up-And-Comer:
When I first posted a Subvader remix not so long ago, I got an e-mail from him thanking me for being the first person to have the balls to post his work. Now I’m wondering if I should thank him for letting me be the first. Stay on track with this guy. If he has anything new, Vacay will certainly let you know…
Vacay’s #1 Duet:
If these two made a bad song together the world would collapse. Cross your fingers they don’t come out with another collab in 2012…
Vacay’s #1 Dutchest:
To be clear, I’ve heard several Count Effectz remixes/bootlegs and I really don’t like them. This is the first tune that I heard and thought to myself, “ok now.” There is a part of my heart that simply can’t resist a super-dutch track.
Vacay’s Most 80′s Sexy:
If they re-made Top Gun, this would be the theme. Beach Volleyball anyone?
Vacay’s #1 Mashup:
Not really Vacay’s #1 mashup, but worth listening to. Vacay’s #1 mashup is one I made called “Coup De Stunt” and was made by me: http://www.vacayvitamins.com/electro/shameless-plug-el-gingero-mashups-electro-st-louis/
Vacay’s #1 Bassiest:
Simple award. Turn up the bass…
Vacay’s Funkiest:
I love a funky track. You don’t need to listen to this song long to understand why it won this award.
Best Babymaking Music:
Find a girl. Tell her you think she had kind eyes. When she inevitably ends up in your apartment/house/bedroom, put these songs on. They say “I want to fuck you, but not desperately enough to put on Marvin Gaye.”
Vacay’s #1 Most Capable of Sounding Like Black Eyed Peas Without Sucking Huge Balls:
I hate the Black Eyes Peas. I spent $19 on their album “Elaphunk” then they immediately sold out, rendering my new purchase to a mear source of anger and regret. Somehow though, Jayou has managed to recreate their dastardly sound to produce something I like. Well done, but watch out if you’re toeing such a line…
Vacay’s #1 Daft Punkest:
If Daft Punk = Gatorade, This Song = Powerade. If there isn’t enough Gatorade around, settle and drink Powerade.
Vacay MVPs In Action:
Here are a few tracks from some well-established Vacay MVPs at their best. When great artist do great things you can’t help but close your eyes and appreciate.
Vacay’s Most Beatastical:
One of the several awards that required me to make up a word. This beat is simply tight. I’ll say this for the 8409804th time, I love a good beat. This one is nothing too heavy, but it deserves recognition for what it is.
Vacay’s Most Original:
I rarely say this, but I’ve never heard anything like Breton. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Vacay’s Simplest Banger:
S.I.M.P.L.E.
Vacay’s #1 Sampler:
Anyone who can take the Fresh Prince theme and turn it into a track worthy of dropping on a big crowd has my vote for president.
- DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (This One's For Cody Remix)
- Twista ft. Pharrell - Give It Up (This One's For Cody Remix)
Vacay’s #1 Vocal Track:
Is it an original song? No. But Posner’s voice sounds really good on this one. A good song to dance to with a shawty. Twirl her a lot and she’ll think you’re educated and classy.
Best Remix of a Song I Hate:
If I hear the original to this track on the radio much more I’ll probably kill myself. On the other hand, if I hear this remix on the radio, I’ll buy the DJ a sandwich.
Best Remix of a Song I Like:
Gorillaz remixes are some of my favorites. This is no exception. Do I like it as much as the original? Not sure yet. I’ll have to listen to the rework as many times as I listened to the original, which may take months.
Vacay’s #1 Song Mom Would Hate:
So I was supposed to go see Afrojack at Mansion in Miami on Wednesday night. Long story short, I didn’t get in and instead got a glock thrown in my face in the hood of Miami. If you guys want the full story, just post some comments saying so and perhaps I’ll oblige. My mom still doesn’t understand why I would go through so much trouble to see someone who “doesn’t even play an instrument.” I think it’s obvious.
Vacay’s Dirtiest:
Vacay loves to get dirty dirty once in a while. This is a perfect example. Start running the warm water in your shower.
Only Good Submission from Two Weeks Ago:
So, like I said, two weeks ago I got about 75 submissions. I likes MAYBE two of them, so I decided not to even post a Mailbag Monday. This was one of the few exceptions. Well done Emperatron, you won the Special Olympics.
Vacay’s #1 Surprise:
I started listening to this song and just when I was about to hit the next button, it blew up. It’s actually a reallllllly sweet song, so be patient and listen to the whole thing. I promise you won’t regret it.
Just Plain Cudi:
I don’t need to make up a bullshit award for the Kid. This song is tight. Plus it has one of the best sound clips in the hisory of music. “Are you a professional or not? No. NO!”
Most Batshit Nuts:
This song is all over the place in such a good way. The first time I heard it I stood up and punched a wall because I felt like it. I hope you don’t have nice walls. (Side Note: Why aren’t there more songs about porn stars? I think they’re a good topic of discussion.)
So that wraps it up. I made up every one of these awards, so if you feel like one of them doesn’t deserve it, that’s because you’re probably right. The good news for me (bad news for you) is that I don’t care because the Celtics won tonight.
Die Kobe,
El Gingero
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9 Comments
i like the random awards and i love (LOVE) your website, but #1 bassiest… really? that song is fucking pathetic compared so some of Uppermost’s tracks. look him up. specifically his remix of Doop
Hey man, amazing posts here and throughout the site. I’m really impressed with your finds and taste.
About your most original award…check out a duo called Phantogram, very comparable to Breton.
you guys are fucking awesome. thank you for the music IV your injecting into my life. couldn’t live without it.
HAHA. well, it’s better than being shot at like your other roommate
Fair enough…
If this post is the result of a celtic win, i hope they win it all
I was on one of the promoters’ lists, but when I got to the end of that shitty aweful sweaty line, the dumb bitch at the register told me she didn’t recognize the name. I called the guys whose list I was on and he said the rest of his people were having no problem getting in and that I must have been in the wrong line. When I asked one of the bouncers which line was for promoter guest lists he pointed at the sweaty line I had just gotten out of. I said FUCK THAT, went to my car, and started driving back north. Of course I ran out of gas in the hood, the clerk wouldn’t let us in because he was changing the receipt paper, then three dudes pulled up and put an unnecessarily large gun to the bridge of my nose and asked me for my wallet. The only lucky thing that happened all night was a cop driving around the corner and scaring my new friends off. Overall, pretty shitty night. Despite the glock-in-the-face incident, I still say the worst part of the night was knowing the show I was missing…
How come you didn’t get into Afrojack on Wednesday? I was there and it was siccckkk!
you are my hero